The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
