is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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