We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
In America we eat man semen.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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