Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
