one might say we're banned from that church
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
