it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize