at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Randomize
