Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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