Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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