Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
