so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
