I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
It's blow job season.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
