i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
