ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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