: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
