It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
