Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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