shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
