coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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