Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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