Little spoons don't ask big questions
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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