Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
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