it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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