If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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