I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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