I like to think it a success when the cops are called
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
