I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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