Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
