Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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