If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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