Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I supernannyed him into submission
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
