I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
