im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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