My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
