so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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