She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
