I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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