my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
