You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
