Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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