There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
