What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
