Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
