my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize