Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
