Don't you send me to vm
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
