in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Randomize
