Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
