:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
We need to get me chipped asap
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
