I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
